Let's Pretend Shall We?

For today, let's play a little game. Let's pretend today is January the 3rd. What just happened to the last few months? Last thing I clearly recall was getting ready for Halloween and now, it's a new year. I don't know about you, but that minute I realize it's now a new year, the holidays are behind us, is not exciting for me. Reality sinks in. My property taxes are due. Those nice little "extras" we slipped in for Christmas, you know, I am just charging them and will pay them off in January, suddenly don't seem so little or nice. My jeans don't button and my check book can't balance. Oh dear, welcome to a new year.

But wait, this year, we have a head start, we can make some different plans. We can say NO to the extra batch of fudge and not have to loose the weight later. In the same fashion, we can set in motion a new plan for Christmas, at least, for next year.

For many of us, this year is set in stone. Toys are in the lay-a-way, the gift list has been made and  you are in mid swing of trying to make this a perfect year for family and friends. Now it the time to sit down and think about making some changes. Money changes yes, but peace of mind changes as well. If your family is large and all the children get gifts from you, you might be like I was when our crew was small, stressed and broke. I would truly want to buy each niece, nephew, cousin or other extra children in the family that year a gift. Problem was, I really didn't have the funds to compete with some of my relatives. I felt bad when my son was given clothing from Talbot's when the best I could do was a gift from K-Mart. Sometime I felt, well, out of balance. Oh how I longed to be in one of the families where you got each child a little happy, something under five dollars and all was even.

So I spoke up. I asked that we draw names and rather than have to get each child a gift, let the children draw names between them. You would think I had grown a third eye and could spin my head completely around. I had one child, ONE, and yet I was out shopping for 15. It was not only stressful on me personally, but financially. I didn't know how the others did it. Years later, I would find out, credit cards.

After my family shunned me, and got smart about the stress and money issues. I choose to make each child a gift. I can sew and I can sew very well. I started early in the year, bought cute but out of season fabric on sale and went to work. I made a point of  writing a note with each gift and telling the child what they meant to me and why I wanted to make them something special.  Years later a nephew told me just how much it meant to him to have his own tailor made shirt complete with Jurassic Park logo that nobody else had. He said it was one of the best gifts he ever got. This from a child who had anything and everything. Success and yet, not. The year after I made each gift, gift giving was cut down to drawing names. Apparently, I insulted the parents. No matter, I finally got what I needed, Christmas under control.

I was never sorry I spoke up. If buying for everyone is hurting your budget, speak up. It is no shame to say so. Each family is unique. We all have our own needs and desires. If you want to buy for everyone you know and you can pay cash, go for it. But don't let the fact that it is Christmas or Chanukah make you feel like you have to go in debt to please others. If you are trying to please people, little tip here, you never will. It's not your job to make people happy with your choices. I have one family member that I could never, ever do enough for. It's not my problem that she has a huge need for things and stuff and for certain names attached to these things and stuff. Once I understood that, I stopped trying to make her happy.

Once you make a 'how we will handle the holiday' plan, you will start to feel better. As for my own little family of four, we stopped gifts a long, long time ago. Rather we have some needs we all enjoy replenishing at Christmas time. We all get new socks, nice socks, and other things we need. Most our money goes for a nice family dinner that we plan and shop for, then cook together. Yes, we do for others. Every year we open our home to feed people who are alone or needy during the month of December. We make loaves of bread and take to people who touch our lives. I take batches of cookies to the local grocery store, library and post office where we spend our time all year and give back to the people who are so kind to us. We try to give back to our community to let others know, hey we see what you do, and we appreciate you. This is a double plus, I get to cook all the sweets I love, but I don't eat them, I pass them on!

Today, think how you want to feel when the new year rolls around. Do you want to be down and wondering how you will make it all work, or at peace, knowing you let go of the need to over spend and over eat.  Why not post how you make the season special for you and yours, lets share some ideas and tips to get the new year attitude going.